A ROCD brain is like Pinocchio. It likes to tell a lie here and then by sending false messages. The only difference is that it has no nose to grow and thus making it very difficult to spot the lies. Sometimes, we can see a nose growing when our anxiety increases…
Some of the ROCD brain’s favourite lies are:
“If I am attracted to other people, then I do not love my boyfriend/girlfriend” – Attraction is part of human nature. It is not like a switch that can be switched on and off. Choice is what makes us love our partners.
“If I find the right person, I will not feel anxiety anymore” – The anxiety is not caused by the other person. It is caused by how our brains interpret a possible danger.
“I always feel anxiety when I am around my boyfriend/girlfriend so there must be a problem with our relationship” – Same as above.
“I can’t feel anything anymore, this means I do not love her/him.” Feelings of infatuation will run its course over time. In addition, it is not unusual for people with high levels of anxiety to become emotionally drained or numb.
“Why can’t I feel that special feeling. Maybe this is not right anymore” – From experience, wanting to feel a certain way whenever something happens is not realistic. For example, the first kiss will not be the same as the tenth kiss as the excitement might be gone.
And much more…
There is only one truth in all these lies. The brain wants to keep itself engaged with rumination and analysis. This will not solve the ROCD problem and will only make it worst over time. The only way to get better is to stop this cycle.