At the height of my ROCD anxieties, I stumbled upon mindfulness and decided to take a free course at University. Before I could go on the course, I had to have an interview with the therapist in order to see if the course would be suited for me and most importantly if I was ready for the course.
A lot of people are exposed to a lot of different psychological techniques to get better but for some reason they decide (consciously or unconsciously) to take what I call – negative action. Negative action is expressed in some of the following behaviours:
1) Focusing on the problem rather than solution
2) Giving up too easily and wanting results quickly or in their own way
3) Not willing to give it a try and experience some discomfort
4) Indulging in self-destructive behaviours e.g. drinking, drugs, short-lived physical-based relationships, etc
4) Adopting self-pity as a best friend…and many others…
The direct result of this negative action is that they bury the problem deeper. Or ignore it, hoping it will go away. The sad truth is that it is impossible to get better by doing this. Some people are able to adopt more positive (action) behaviours. In the face of a problem they are able to do what is needed to solve or minimise the problem, patiently. Psychologists refer to this as psychological resilience.
Some people have it more than others. It is an inner strength that can be developed and grows over time even if you think you do not have it. Here is a link by the American Psychological Association that talks a little bit more about resilience and gives practical tips. http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx#
When I was finishing my mindfulness sessions, I asked the psychologist what was the most important factor that differentiated people that were able to get better from those that weren’t. Her answer was: psychological resilience. I had asked the same question to my ROCD therapist and she told me something very similar – “those people that get better are those that stick at it.”
Find the time in your life to get better. Give up something that it is not essential for your needs.