So I have more than 30 posts here (did not think that I would get that far!) and I am thinking now if people are really benefiting from these tips.
I thought that if you give people the tools, they would be able to “fix” the problem. Maybe it was bit naive of me because they still need to learn how to use the tools. This is a very difficult thing to do without providing some sort of feedback like a therapist does. But I am not a therapist. So I can only share what I have learned. I would like to share what not to do. The three most common mistakes that people do (and that I have done) when they try to get better.Here they are:
No.1 – Thinking that you can solve the “ROCD problem” in your mind.
“If I could just figure out if I love my partner then I would be out of this situation. I need to think about this some more”. And there you go again, thinking about it hours without end, analysing situations and your feelings, etc, etc…Weeks go by, months and even years. If you can’t see this pattern in your life then most likely you are fighting a losing battle. Always falling for the same tricks that the brain plays on you.
No.2 – Not understanding the difference between treating “R” vs. “OCD”
There is no magic solution to beating ROCD. In fact the worst thing you can do is to try and solve the “R” instead of the “OCD”. EVERYONE has “R” doubts, problems and questions. Happy and good moments. You are trying to solve the part of you that is NORMAL. Not everyone has OCD. This is what you should be trying to solve. The OCD side. This is the side that has drained your emotions, left you anxious, numb and feeling negative about life. The “R” WAS the side that brought happiness, joy and fulfilment to your life.
No.3 – Not challenging yourself enough and thinking that there is a magic “aha” moment and all will be allright.
I will say it again. There is no magic solution to ROCD. It will take a lot of daily work from your side. I only know of 2 solutions: medication and therapy (e.g. CBT/ERP/Mindfulness) . Sometimes you will need both and sometimes you will not.
It is 2013. Challenge yourself to improve at least 1% from your ROCD. One step at a time. Be patient with yourself. It does get better! I would have lost my beautiful companion if I had let ROCD ruin my relationship. And it almost did. But she stuck by me. In the midst of all my craziness.
My challenge for you in 2013:
1) Read a tip a day from this blog and see how you can implement it in your life, learn from it and try to educate your brain about it. Be gentle on yourself too. It is OK to forget things, not have all the answers.
2) Try to incorporate mindfulness practice in your life. Here is a link with FREE MP3’s. I can help you with this with you have any questions.
I really would like at least one of you to write a guest article on this blog in 3 months time and I am more than happy to help in any way I can. But I can’t pull you out. You will have to do it yourself. And you can do it if you avoid these 3 mistakes!
p.s. here is a video about mindfulness