The wound – Follow up on weekly challenge

I had a great question today about letting thoughts be. Other people have asked me about this before and it is hard to explain this concept without you having it experienced first – alike to an electric shock. So I will do my best with the use of imagery and something that anyone can relate to:

You have a wound. It is uncomfortable, unpleasant and difficult to live with. It restricts your movement and you are not able to go places that you would like to go. The wound will take time to heal but there is a catch. You cannot scratch it. It will itch a lot but you must resist the temptation of scratching it or otherwise it will not get better. The more you scratch it, the longer it will take to heal because by now you are getting used to living with the wound and starting to tolerate the pain a bit better. A few weeks later if you keep scratching, scratching becomes a habit and it is almost a good thing to do because it provides temporary relief from the itch. But you do not seem to be getting better…and the wound looks like it is getting deeper and you do not understand why.

A couple of questions:

1- How can we apply this example to ROCD?

2 – When does scratching becomes an addiction?

3 – How can we stop scratching in a healthy way?

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6 comments

  1. 1. The wound is our ROCD/Anxiety. The scratch/itch are the unwanted thoughts/compulsions and reassurance seeking. All the things we shouldn’t succumb to, but do so in order to get temporary relief from the anxiety. The OCD part.

    2. When we do them to simply to get temporary relief from the uncomfortable feelings. My compulsions/reassurance seeking is googling and re-reading articles on internet. Although it used to be asking anyone and everyone whether they thought I loved my boyfriend. I even went as far as using a pendulum to ‘check’. Basically it’s a compulsion that becomes obsessive.

    3. By allowing and acknowledging the unwanted/unpleasant thoughts in and NOT reacting to them. By resisting the compulsions and reassurance seeking. By just sitting with the anxiety and letting it be without judgement or questioning and the need for an answer.

    easier said than done though…..

    The hardest part is the set backs when recovering. I am recovering (miles better than I was in the beginning, I had anxiety 24/7) but it’s really hard when I suddenly get anxiety when everything is fine and I will instinctively, out of habit, search for a reason. An answer as to why the anxiety is there? Which is a huge no-no, as I am reacting to the anxious thought. My brain will always come back to if I leave him, the anxiety will go. Which for the others out there, I tried and tested. I did leave, severeal times, just to get rid of anxiety. And yes I was relieved for a brief period of time. But then that was replaced by utter heartache, which made me realise how much I loved him. Which then led back to….yes you’ve guessed it! Anxiety about having lost him, being a failure at relationships, etc.etc. Trust me it will find something else to be anxious about. So we all need to tackle the OCD, the part that fuels the anxiety. So the answer is don’t react, which no matter how long you have had this, is a really hard habit to break. It takes time, patience and a strong will power to NOT let this thing beat you and take away the most imporant person in your life.

    Be strong!

    And a huge thank you to Blip for even bothering to do this blog, you really are helping so many people. Thank you.

    1. Hypergirl this is a great comment. I agree 100%. I’ve recently gone through several months of being HOCD/ROCD free and have been hit with several spikes in a row. I was saying on my blog how easily we seem to fall back into the obsessing/ruminating/compulsing. I think, in part it is because most of our compulsions are mental in nature – so it’s harder to catch ourselves. But wow – it’s also super hard to not search for an answer when being struck with a massive anxiety attack after being relatively anxiety free for so long!!! You are all inspiring to me, as I am not currently in a relationship and in some ways have become “comfortable” with just being alone because I hate the anxiety and horrible doubt that comes. Relationships are just more trouble than they are worth to me.

  2. I think this really applies to us all:

    An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

    “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, anxiety, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

    The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

    The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.

    1. Wow! I love that! I think the more we look for what’s wrong the more we will see it that way, but if we can flip our thinking around to what’s right the more we will think of what is right instead of wrong!

  3. i’ve had ROCD for a while but just discovered that it’s an actual thing. I’ve had OCD for about six years and it’s always had to do with religion or relationships. Now I am in a relationship with my boyfriend of four years and i love him to death and i know that, but i am always asking god for “signs” if we belong together, and of course my ocd turns everything into a “negative sign”. i get so upset and cry hysterically thinking that we “aren’t meant” to be together. I have to understand that this is the ocd, not a sign from god. I have to beat the ocd because this relationship is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I hope that everyone here continues to fight and beat the rocd. It’s hard but if you love the person enough, it’s worth it.

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