Another post from another rOCD sufferer

Hi everyone. I would like to share an inspiring story from another rOCD sufferer. Her name is Natalie. Natalie’s story was much longer than this and had to be edited to fit the short action format of this blog. I left in the bits that I thought would be useful for other sufferers as positive action points. You will realise that this story is not symptom focused but rather action focused. Here it is.

Natalie’s story so far

*

Hello, My name is Natalie and I am 22 years old.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 20months.
For the last 7 months of my life I have suffered with ROCD.
In my case I had no signs or symptoms of ROCD until my boyfriend’s Nan passed away from cancer back in August.

*

I think that tiny positive light in the back of my head knew I still love the man, if I let him go it would be like leaving him over false thoughts and feelings or leaving him for no reason and if I search deep enough I sometimes get a glimmer of knowing how much I really love him and that makes the fight all worth it.
The first thing I did was tell BOYFRIEND and my family who were all extremely supportive. I was very nervous about how he would react to what I was telling him but I should’ve known he would’ve just scooped me up into his arms and be there for me despite me being able to look him in the eye and feel no love for him at certain points during my days and weeks. It cannot be nice for anyone’s partner to have to hear it and thankfully BOYFRIEND is made of sturdier stuff. I don’t know how I could go through it without him.
The first thing is admitting you have a problem. The second thing is getting help.
The doctor put me on Citalopram, an anti-depressant which helped lift my moods a bit but this wasn’t enough as the thoughts persisted and I knew I needed professional help of a different format.

*

My manager knew there wasn’t something right with me and recommended a hypnotherapist.
I was rather sceptical at first but was desperate to get better and so I gave it a go, HYPNOTHERAPIST taught me a lot about my brain and why it was putting me through what I am going through, she made me realize I am a sufferer of anxiety and she taught me tips and techniques to deal with the thoughts that come into my head. I knew it was going to be a long process but you have to start somewhere. From then on, every week I would sit on HYPNOTHERAPIST’s sofa and listen to what she had to say, her explanations and id let her put me into trance so she could talk to the receptive part of my brain, the part the ROCD cannot attack and infiltrate.
I must’ve been seeing HYPNOTHERAPIST for about three-four months and I found that I have days where thoughts and feelings of love for BOYFRIEND come flooding back and I have moments where I can bat unwanted thoughts away. Sometimes I kiss him without worrying, I say I love you without thinking about it and I can even have consecutive days where I feel pretty good.
I still have days where I slip and they’re still difficult but I just keep moving forward and when I climb back out of my hole and get back on track, even just for 10 mins in the right direction it is so much better.

*

I stopped seeing my hypnotherapist about a month ago and I’m doing a lot better on my own. I’m not going to lie that I still have moments where I struggle. My dad always told me to take each day as it comes and as a sufferer of ROCD I find it very suitable advice. Sometimes I have my ups and sometimes I have my downs but I try to press forward every day even when it’s very hard.

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. Thankyou for sharing this story, I have had a tough couple of weeks and have now also been put on citalopram for my ROCD it is so lovely to hear success stories when you feel hopeless. I too am going to look into hypnosis and CBT. Nice to know were not alone

  2. Very inspiring story Natalie.thanks for sharing!

    I have suffered from rOCD for 13 months now and I also had it in my other relationships even I wasn’t aware of it.
    I had a baby 7 months ago and thank god I do not have rOCD towards him.
    Im going to therapy and my therapist is very good. I also had moments where my loving feelings come back and they help to carry on in the other times when the rocd is on hard.

    All the best to you!

  3. I am nats boyfriend honestly I am, she is a true inspiration to me and I love how all she has wanted to do since finding this site is to try and help some other sufferers of rocd to any other partners out there stay positive stay patient its the ROCD talking not the person that loves yku very lots 🙂

  4. These blogs really mean a lot to me, i am struggling every day and sometimes it is so hard..I always feel “fake”around my bf and i hate it. I just wish this would all go away so i can be as happy as i was just a couple weeks ago! I recently had an rocd relapse and it has really taken it’s toll on me. I feel terrible. I dont want to give up. My OCD tells me to give in, and it tries to make me believe it’s my “gut” or something. Even typing this now i feel like i am lying.When i know this is what i have, i have had this before during our 5 year relationship, and other aspects of my life.

    I want to be patient.It is so hard though.I could go on typing for hours about the intrusive thoughts that plague me every minute of the day regarding my relationship. I feel like i am self-sabotaging myself.
    I am scared to tell my bf because i don’t want to hurt him. Besides, they are irrational thoughts anyway.I don’t want to confess to him the lies my brain tells me??But i don’t want to hide this either..i want to be HONEST with him.
    I cry very often throughout the day. It hurts like nothing else.
    Hopefully CBT will help me. I pray that it will.
    Thank you so SO much for these blogs and posts..they help so much.!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s