Hi everyone. I would like to share an inspiring story from another rOCD sufferer. Her name is Natalie. Natalie’s story was much longer than this and had to be edited to fit the short action format of this blog. I left in the bits that I thought would be useful for other sufferers as positive action points. You will realise that this story is not symptom focused but rather action focused. Here it is.
Natalie’s story so far
Hello, My name is Natalie and I am 22 years old.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 20months.
For the last 7 months of my life I have suffered with ROCD.
In my case I had no signs or symptoms of ROCD until my boyfriend’s Nan passed away from cancer back in August.
I think that tiny positive light in the back of my head knew I still love the man, if I let him go it would be like leaving him over false thoughts and feelings or leaving him for no reason and if I search deep enough I sometimes get a glimmer of knowing how much I really love him and that makes the fight all worth it.
The first thing I did was tell BOYFRIEND and my family who were all extremely supportive. I was very nervous about how he would react to what I was telling him but I should’ve known he would’ve just scooped me up into his arms and be there for me despite me being able to look him in the eye and feel no love for him at certain points during my days and weeks. It cannot be nice for anyone’s partner to have to hear it and thankfully BOYFRIEND is made of sturdier stuff. I don’t know how I could go through it without him.
The first thing is admitting you have a problem. The second thing is getting help.
The doctor put me on Citalopram, an anti-depressant which helped lift my moods a bit but this wasn’t enough as the thoughts persisted and I knew I needed professional help of a different format.
My manager knew there wasn’t something right with me and recommended a hypnotherapist.
I was rather sceptical at first but was desperate to get better and so I gave it a go, HYPNOTHERAPIST taught me a lot about my brain and why it was putting me through what I am going through, she made me realize I am a sufferer of anxiety and she taught me tips and techniques to deal with the thoughts that come into my head. I knew it was going to be a long process but you have to start somewhere. From then on, every week I would sit on HYPNOTHERAPIST’s sofa and listen to what she had to say, her explanations and id let her put me into trance so she could talk to the receptive part of my brain, the part the ROCD cannot attack and infiltrate.
I must’ve been seeing HYPNOTHERAPIST for about three-four months and I found that I have days where thoughts and feelings of love for BOYFRIEND come flooding back and I have moments where I can bat unwanted thoughts away. Sometimes I kiss him without worrying, I say I love you without thinking about it and I can even have consecutive days where I feel pretty good.
I still have days where I slip and they’re still difficult but I just keep moving forward and when I climb back out of my hole and get back on track, even just for 10 mins in the right direction it is so much better.
I stopped seeing my hypnotherapist about a month ago and I’m doing a lot better on my own. I’m not going to lie that I still have moments where I struggle. My dad always told me to take each day as it comes and as a sufferer of ROCD I find it very suitable advice. Sometimes I have my ups and sometimes I have my downs but I try to press forward every day even when it’s very hard.