Roller coaster ride and chronic disease


OK.I had promised myself and everyone else not to write anymore posts. I guess I will have to take that back as some people have asked me to write about specific topics and I see a need of writing a few more because of some of the feedback and observations of lately. I will start with this one today.

Something that is common to almost everyone that I speak with is what I call roller coaster behaviour. This is the sequence of events (or very similarly), I will explain:

1) There is  a strong rOCD trigger that leads to high anxiety and panic (spikes)

2) Starting to feeling very bad and looking for quick fixes – go to blogs, websites, speak with friends, offload onto partner, etc

3) Life kicks in and the mind/brain gets distracted – start being busy with other things

4) Anxiety decreases (and starts to think that does not have rOCD, it is actually not that bad and I can cope with it)

5) another trigger appears and the cycle starts all over again

So this rOCD has become a chronic disease, does not “kill” immediately but still lives in the background and goes through cycles. And then we wonder, why we do not see any improvement.

Real lasting improvement can only happen when we commit ourselves to daily change. No matter how much good advice we get – if we cannot apply it daily it is only a quick fix. We need to stop and really think about this.

Are there any other options to daily commitment? Yes, if we don’t want to get better.


  1. This makes so much sense!! I’m unsure if I have rocd as when my anxiety goes I still have doubts for my boyfriend but try to get on with life thinking this isn’t right which upsets me so much but i put it to the back of my mind, however when I think about it or anything that triggers a spike all the anxiety comes back and leaves me thinking that it’s just the rocd making me feel like this!

  2. Hi, I stumbled upon you blog the other day and feel that I could have written it myself! I have been experiencing rOCD for nearly 10 years, with my wonderful husband who has always been fantastic. I only discovered I had rOCD a couple of years ago and since then have been able to move forward more. My “good” times are getting longer and bad times shorter and less frequent. Your roller coaster blog is very true of me. I have had 9 months symptom free and again out of the blue find myself struggling with it! Very keen to leave this rOCD behind and move on to a life without it, but feel I need a little more help. Would be very interested in the name of your ex therapist?

  3. I feel as though my cycle is beginning to start over again which scares me. I was following all of the given advice and I felt a lot better. I actually saw improvement and felt happy again. However, having a horrible dream last week spiked my anxiety and it’s all I can think about again. I’m sitting here questioning everything all over again.

    Any advice on what to do from here? I feel so sad and lost again

  4. Hi Blip,

    I found your blog a few months ago and I admitted that it was a great relief for me.

    For 8 years, I am with a lovely girlfriend. Prior to this relationship, I was confronted with ruminations about different subjects (homosexuality, bipolarity, knives, …). All his ruminations have now disappeared to make way for ROCD (worst of all).

    During these eight years, I have had several episodes of anxiety followed by long months of rumination … And finally I always go out but I still do not know how …

    On several occasions, I was so afraid of not loving my girlfriend I felt like it was real. Each time, the anguish and discomfort faded and I could live normally. However, when I am confronted with the question “Are you in love?”, I feel a lot of anxiety. I really do not want to lose my lovely girlfriend.

    At this moment, I am very anxious at the idea of no longer love my girlfriend. I know I’ve experienced this in the past and I’m out but every time I’m trapped and I’m so afraid that this is not rOCD.

    During the month of May and June, I ruminate a lot. But last month, I felt really good. At the moment I feel I’m doing me trapped again by the ruminations. At first, I try to apply the techniques of your blog but I finally could not resist the need to reassure me.

    I tried to reassure me by showing me that I was really in love last month. Unfortunately, I know very well that this reinsurance does not work. I often feel like crying … is that it is the anxiety that causes it?

    I currently follow a cognitive-behavioral therapy. I hope this will help me overcome this. I really do not want to lose my honey even if my thoughts trying to prove me wrong. This is not what I want!

    When i feel me bad, it’s so difficult to apply your strategies…I don’t know where to start…

    Thanks for your blog.


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