Just one piece of advice

Hi everyone,

I know that I have not been posting often and this has been a deliberate decision on my part. But I have not stopped blogging. With limited time on my part, I try to reply to as many emails as I can instead. People around the world email me and I have at least one or two new people emailing everyday. And, I will always reply to emails. I also try to limit the information on this blog to the essential bits. Information overload is present everywhere and it can get very confusing very quickly when we are trying to manage OCD.

On a more personal note, my little boy (Christian) is 7 months todays. He has been a great joy for us as parents and I am glad that I made the decision to tackle OCD head on almost 3 years ago. So I have been thinking and have been asked what sort of advice would be most useful, for  a rOCD sufferer.  Here is what I think:


Keep things simple. Take one day at a time. Do not focus on goals (e.g. getting “cured” from rOCD) but rather focus on the process (e.g. I will practice mindfulness for 15 minutes a day in the evening).


And that’s it. Useful things on the process could be: eating healthier, seeking for medical advice, getting the right medication, avoiding rumination, and many other things that I have already covered in this blog.





  1. Hi,

    I have been following your blog for some time now and it has really helped me on my recovery from Relationship OCD. I also bought your book on iTunes which was extremely helpful as well.

    I have been dating my boyfriend for four and a half years. My relationship OCD kicked in about 10 months ago and it has been an incredibly difficult struggle, to say the least. I know from reading many different people’s stories with ROCD that it is possible to become “numb” in terms of feelings for your partner and this is currently what I am struggling with the most. I know how great i felt when I was with my boyfriend before ROCD came into my life and how I just always felt overjoyed and totally in love. The absence of these feelings now is what is scaring me. Will I ever be able to truly feel these feelings again? I tend to get into the mindset that since these feelings are no longer present, I must not love my boyfriend and this really isn’t a right relationship. It is a little bit of a vicious cycle because as I try to get these feelings back, my anxiety is quick to remind me that I am forcing these feelings and being fake- that these feelings are not natural, which makes me even more anxious.

    Do you have any experience with this “lack of feelings” symptom? I would love to hear how you have dealt with this issue in particular.

    Thanks so much

  2. Hello Blip
    I really appreciate the book and your responses to my emails, it gave a relief, for a very short time of course as any other compultions (cheking, reassuring) I have very simmilar situation as Linda, lack of feelings, emotions (any of them except anxiety and deep sadness). My viscious circle is boosted by depression. I dont want to talk to anybody, avoid company as often as possible. I cannot stand 15 minutes with my girlfriend cuz i hate the “fake” emotions and engagement feeling. When she is not with me i remind (all day long) this feeling and am depressed beyond any imagination (cannot work, cannot eat). I am more and more sure that i want to break up, this feeling is killing me too. One thing i cannot figure out is does the depression and ocd is causing this (and can be treated) or i really dont want to be with her, cannot accept it and this is causing the depression. Im so lost, no way out
    All the best

    1. It is really difficult to fight OCD when you suffer from depression as well. But the good thing is that some of the treatment/techniques will work for both. When you do not want to do it, that is when you need to do it the most. By this I mean, being around people and expressing love. We cannot feel love first before expressing. It does not work like that. In fact, most of the times it works the other way around!

  3. I have relationship ocd , i always see the girl i loved and sometime the doubt thoughts creates in my mind as she has a relationship with my friend and now she is not with me and i am suffering from ocd 1 and half month . Sometimes guilt feeling and doubt of contacting my friend which is impossible i know . I dont how i will cope of with ocd

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